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Gaslighting often starts with phrases like "You're too sensitive" or "You're imagining things"
📊 Session Summary
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Gaslighting"That never happened", "You're imagining things" — making you doubt your own reality and memory.
Love BombingOverwhelming early affection designed to create dependency — then withdrawn as control once you're hooked.
ManipulationExploiting your empathy, guilt and sense of obligation to override your own judgement and autonomy.
Toxic LanguageVerbal degradation — calling you worthless, pathetic or a burden — designed to destroy self-worth and keep you compliant.
DeceptionSystematic lying, withholding information and creating false narratives to control what you know and believe.
SecrecyPathological concealment — deleted messages, locked phones, defensive reactions to normal questions. Hiding things that affect you.
Coercive Control ⛓️A sustained pattern of domination — controlling who you see, where you go, what you spend, what you wear. A criminal offence in many countries.
Narcissistic Abuse 👑Grandiosity, entitlement and exploitation — you exist to serve their ego. Followed by devaluation and discard.
Financial Abuse 💸Controlling money, sabotaging employment, creating debt — making you financially dependent so leaving feels impossible.
Isolation Tactics 🔒Systematically cutting you off from friends and family so the abuser becomes your only source of support and reality.
DARVODeny, Attack, Reverse Victim & Offender — when confronted, they flip the script and become the victim of your "attack".
Guilt-Tripping"After everything I've done..." — manufacturing false emotional debt to weaponise your compassion and force compliance.
Future FakingEmpty promises about a shared future — therapy, marriage, change — made solely to maintain your emotional investment.
Blame ShiftingEverything is always your fault. They never accept responsibility — your behaviour, your tone, your reaction caused everything they did.
Victim PlayingPerforming suffering to avoid accountability — suddenly they are the injured party the moment you raise a legitimate concern.
Emotional WithdrawalThe silent treatment and deliberate coldness used as punishment — controlling you through the threat of emotional absence.
Affection DecreaseWarmth becomes conditional — rationed as reward and withheld as punishment to keep you anxious and trying harder.
Controlling BehaviorMonitoring your phone, approving your outfits, tracking your location, demanding check-ins — your freedom requires their permission.
Trauma BondA neurological attachment formed through cycles of pain and relief — making leaving feel impossible even when you know you should go.
Boundary TestingDeliberately pushing past stated limits to map how far they can go — each unchallenged violation gives permission for the next.
Entitlement Language"Rules don't apply to me", "I shouldn't have to explain myself" — a belief that different standards apply to them than everyone else.
Cheating PatternsPhone always face down, deleted messages, unexplained absences, sudden new interest in appearance — behavioural signals of active deception.
Micro-CheatingEmotional investment outside the relationship deliberately hidden — secret digital connections, kept-on exes, hidden from friends as single.
ExploitationBeing used for money, status, housing or emotional labour — contact reliably appears when something is needed and disappears when it isn't.
Arrogance & ContemptConsistently talked down to, dismissed and mocked — contempt is the single strongest predictor of lasting relationship damage in research.
NeggingBackhanded compliments designed to erode confidence — "not bad for you", "you'd be attractive if..." — creating dependency on their approval.
Financial DeceptionHidden debt, fabricated income, secret accounts — lying about money that directly affects your practical ability to make informed decisions.
Anger EscalationExplosive unpredictable outbursts that create chronic walking-on-eggshells anxiety — one of the strongest predictors of physical violence.
Physical IntimidationStanding over you, blocking exits, grabbing, throwing objects nearby — using physical presence to create fear without direct violence.
Threatening Language"You'll regret this", "You don't know what I'm capable of" — threats are a criminal offence and do not need to be carried out to cause harm.
BreadcrumbingJust enough attention to prevent you moving on — contact reliably appears when you start to detach, resetting your investment with minimum effort.
TriangulationDeliberately introducing a third party — an ex, an admirer — to manufacture jealousy and keep you in a permanent state of competition.
HooveringPull-back tactics after separation — promises, declarations, manufactured crises — designed to interrupt your recovery, not evidence of genuine change.
Passive AggressionHostility expressed through deniable channels — "fine", eye rolls, convenient forgetting — punishing you without ever being accountable for it.
StonewallingSilent treatment and refusing communication — used as punishment and emotional withdrawal to enforce compliance through anxiety.
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